TO ANY WHO WOULD HARM ME OR MINE
If you attempt to do anything to me, to my friends, to anyone I care about; I WILL KILL YOU. I will not simply defend myself, I WILL kill you, and while you are dying I will piss on you.
I have just rolled all my bullets in pig fat. I'm going to start carying around pieces of swine flesh with me; and I'll shove them into your wounds, then force feed them to you. Then I'll cut your [male parts] off and shove them down your throat.
I am heavily armed at all times, I have booby trapped my car and my home, and I am waiting for you. If you come after me or mine, you will die, and I will make damned sure you won't see paradise for all eternity you evil [oedipally-inclined persons].
You know, Americans are kind, generous people as a rule, but it doesn't pay to forget that we settled this country at the point of a gun. We're an ornery, cantankerous, often heavily-armed lot, who don't play nicely with others. Perhaps the Brotherhood of the Bomb Belt should stick to threatening somebody more civilized, like the Spanish.
A/T to it comes in pints?.