Bye bye, Seattle!

Write if you get work! And don't let the door hit you in your sorry, drizzly, latte-stained ass!

Frustrated by the state and federal gridlock on solving Seattle's transportation problems, Mayor Greg Nickels suggested secession at a Thursday luncheon.

"Our region should declare its independence," Nickels said.

The Puget Sound regional economy makes up 67 percent of the state's economic activity, he said. "If we were a country, [our economy] would be just a little smaller than Thailand. We would be larger than Colombia, Venezuela. We are held back because our state and federal government still believe our economies are driven by wheat farms and timber logging."

Somewhere between Colombia and Thailand, huh? Seattle ought to feel right at home sandwiched in between countries that make their money from drug dealers and child prostitution. In case Nickels hasn't looked lately, wheat is a lot more essential than, say, more copies of Windows. Those laser discs don't digest very well. And who is it that sucked all the prosperity out of the logging counties? Hint: it wasn't the people who actually lived there. It was Seattle pseudo-intellectuals who never met a logger they didn't yearn to see unemployed.

I envision a state shaped like the one above, made up of those counties in Washington that grow food instead of luxuries, have air you can actually see through, and believe that generating electricity is a good thing. The Coasties are even welcome to keep the name Washington if they want; we'll pick another one. Then they can vote themselves in all the Kleptocratic administrations they want without having to cheat, and we'll have an actual franchise. We'll raise taters and wheat, and I hope the Coasties find their airplanes tasty.

Free the Brownside!