"He never took his eye off the grenade"

CORONADO, Calif. - A Navy SEAL sacrificed his life to save his comrades by throwing himself on top of a grenade Iraqi insurgents tossed into a sniper hideout his unit had discovered, fellow members of the elite force said.

Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael A. Monsoor had been near the only door to the rooftop structure Sept. 29 when the grenade hit him in the chest and bounced to the floor, said four SEALs who spoke to The Associated Press this week on condition of anonymity because their work requires their identities to remain secret.

"He never took his eye off the grenade, his only movement was down toward it," said a 28-year-old lieutenant who sustained shrapnel wounds to both legs that day. "He undoubtedly saved mine and the other SEALs' lives, and we owe him."

This is how a man dies. I don't care how you feel about the Iraqi occupation;read and be humbled.

And the cat came back

I'm not one of those hamfisted tough guys who advocates the noose for jaywalking, but I have to admit this sounds like a good idea.

A MAN convicted of trying to rape an 83-year-old woman was sentenced to eight lashes with a cat-o'-nine-tails, a punishment used by the British Navy in the 18th century and reinstated in the Bahamas 15 years ago.

Altulus Newbold, 34, was sentenced on Saturday to 16 years in prison after being found guilty of burglary, attempted rape and causing harm.

Justice Jon Isaacs ordered that he receive four lashes of the whip at the start of his sentence and four upon his release, but suspended the punishment for three weeks pending a possible appeal.

The cat, a whip made of knotted cords, leaves flesh wounds and is used on the offender's back by a prison guard.

It was outlawed in the Bahamas many years ago, but reinstated in the former British colony in 1991 in the face of rising crime.

This, to me, is the biggest argument in favor of it:

Former assistant police commissioner Paul Thompson said the cat was always considered an effective form of punishment.

"A long-serving prison governor told me that prisoners who received the cat never returned to prison. He considered it the ultimate deterrent," Mr Thompson said.

Reducing prison populations without having to execute seems like a good idea to me. A whipping might be painful enough to keep people from wanting to risk it again, but it's not permanent, and it's less likely to be tied up in decades of appeals. I know it's not a cure-all, but we might give it a try.

Amen!

I'm not going to embed it; you'll have to go look. But it seems Ken at It Comes in Pints? feels the same way about Fred Phelps' pack of dirty-eared inbreds as I do.

Really?

Says here that the pope may have signed a universal indult to bring back the Tridentine Mass. Does anybody know more about this? (The Times isn't notoriously careful about religion reporting.)

The Pope is taking steps to revive the ancient tradition of the Latin Tridentine Mass in Catholic churches worldwide, according to sources in Rome.

Pope Benedict XVI is understood to have signed a universal indult — or permission — for priests to celebrate again the Mass used throughout the Church for nearly 1,500 years. The indult could be published in the next few weeks, sources told The Times...

The new indult would permit any priest to introduce the Tridentine Mass to his church, anywhere in the world, unless his bishop has explicitly forbidden it in writing.

Of course, I wonder how much difference this will make, with the last generation of priests who know how to celebrate the Tridentine rite dying off.

Mel Gibson haikus

Apparently ol' Mel hasn't yet lived down getting snockered, shouting about Jews running the world, and calling a female cop "Sugar Tits." Is "being mocked in haiku" one of the twelve steps?

Some of the better ones (be ready for language):

Mel wanted to be
Ted Kennedy, but instead
was Jerry Falwell

Mel is drunk again
Screaming like a Nazi twit
Passion of the Cops

Now apologize
For making us all look at
Your ass in Braveheart

Face it, sugar-tits
Point-one-two is not that drunk
You just hate the Jews

Wait, don’t let me out
Of jail yet. I still haven’t
Slagged off the faggots.

Did I say “the jews”?
the tequila slurred my words…
meant to say “fruit chews”

King of Malibu
pull over and enjoy your
own crucifixion

Anybody have any to add?

Is that what "sacking the quarterback" means?

The usually ho-hum race for Wisconsin secretary of state is being spiced up by one candidate's naughty tell-all book about her bed-hopping exploits with Green Bay football legends during the team's glory days under Vince Lombardi in the 1960s.

Sandy Sullivan, a 65-year-old Republican with no political experience, self-published a gushing memoir in 2004 titled "Green Bay Love Stories and Other Affairs" in which she claims she was the girlfriend of Green Bay Packers Paul Hornung and Dan Currie, deflected a pass from Hall of Famer Don Hutson and was on the receiving end of a saucy comment from Richard Nixon.

If the book is to be believed, the Packers did a lot of their scoring off the field, and Sullivan got her share of playing time.

Why am I not surprised...

...that the person who found me on this search was surfing from UC Davis? There's the rest of the world, and then there's Northern California. (Now I've done it; my Californian wife is probably already getting the couch made up for me.)

Speaking of my LaBW

She'll know all of these. I'm no expert (whereas Christina is), but I found I knew a few of them myself.

H/T once again to Miss Cellania.

Some things a fire can't erase

My Lovely and Brilliant Wife will understand why I posted this. Someday I hope I can see it with her.

The Carnival is up

I didn't get around to submitting a post to this week's Catholic Carnival, which is a disappointment because the theme this week is the Rosary, which I've just been rediscovering. If you read nothing else, you absolutely must read this article on the Battle of Lepanto, where those little strings of beads may have been the reason we're not bowing toward Mecca today.

But she's a woman, so it's her civil right

All this woman did was take more literally than most what uterofascists have maintained is their right anyway: to treat babies – and everybody else – any way they see fit.

Being a woman means never having to be told "no." And only a men's rights sexist would question it.

This land is whose land?

This cool animated map shows the successive empires that have passed the Middle East around like a bottle in a brown bag for the last 5,000 years. Kind of puts today's conflicts in perspective. This, too, will pass.



A tip of the kaffiyeh to Julie.

I coulda been a contender

You most resemble Marlon Brando You are very smart, and very talented, although you don’t really enjoy social company. You prefer to live alone, go to movies alone, cry alone in the corner... Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

H/T to the unrefusable Miss C..

Fighting down waves of nausea

A guest post at The Dawn Patrol:

I'm a man, so I'm not supposed to have an opinion about abortion. Instead, let me tell you about the wonderful morning I had yesterday, taking my 2-year-old daughter Dot to speech therapy and physical therapy. Her major interest right now is reciting the colors (which she does in English and American Sign Language, yet) and reciting the names of her boyfriends in her early start toddler class ("Edgerrrrr! Androooo!") and informing me they wear "backpacks." She waved at everyone she saw that day with a cheery "Hello!" and smiled a gap-tooth smile under her mop of red hair. They smiled and waved back. What a cutie!

Oh, sorry — she has Down Syndrome. Reboot. Let me try again:

Bringing her to term was obviously a big mistake! What a tragedy SHE is! How inconvenient for everyone involved! We can't possibly get her into advanced placement classes, or an Ivy League college! What'll we say to our neighbors? Better off just to make the "hard decision" to get rid of her. Ignore my first paragraph. Just forget I said anything ...

I'm really having a hard time coming up with words to describe my incredible anger. Pro-deathers like to describe abortion as "a hard decision," but the fact is, it's the lazy-ass way out. Particularly in this case. Let's face it; the women who will abort a DS child aren't scared teenagers who dare not give birth. They want children, just not this child.

So these lovely, sweet human beings are squashed like spiders because they're just too much trouble to keep. Hard decision, my big hairy butt!

I'm going to have trouble not throwing up for the rest of the day.

I hadn't noticed...

... that October was the Month of the Rosary until Julie and Sarah both mentioned it. Kind of fits in with the last post, doesn't it? I think I know what I need to start doing on the way to work in the mornings.

Prayer works, believe it or not

Back in July, I asked for prayer for Mike's father, who had cancer. Turns out it's been answered beyond all expectation. At least any expectation of mine.

I e-mailed Mike the other day to ask how things were going, wonderinng if it was time to start praying for his soul instead of his healing. Mike's answer (posted with his permission):

Nope... he is actually doing great. In fact it is quite miraculous how well his is doing. What is more, he gave his life to Christ in my church about a month ago... walked up to me crying after service and said he prayed the prayer with me and I can see the change in his life already. Thank you so much for praying for him... God has certainly listened and responded.

I wrote back:

This business with your dad has been a smack-in-the-gob reminder of something that we're constantly being told but that I have a hard time believing: prayer works. It really does. Yet I know I've been disappointed so often in praying that I had come to believe in the back of my mind that it only works for other people. You know, the sort of people who announce to the world that their prayers for the most unlikely things have been answered, and hint loudly that if we would just pray more, or better, our cars will run better, our children will grow up right, and our toenails will cease to be ingrown. I'm not even talking about the prosperity gospel, name-it-and-claim-it bunch; they're comparatively straightforward. I mean the people who are more-prayerful-then-thou, whose eyes naturally fall into a gaze-toward-heaven position. You know the kind I mean.

But when I pray, it always seems like that's God's cue to do exactly the opposite. "You think you've got troubles NOW? You just watch!" I know intellectually that that's not what happens, but emotionally it's hard sometimes to see effectual prayer as anything more real than Santa Claus.

In your dad's case, I did something I'd gotten out of the habit of doing: I prayed the rosary. I went into it with the same lackluster trust in the power of prayer that I've had for several years, and it didn't make any difference. The prayers were still answered.

The thing I have trouble remembering about prayer is that its efficacy isn't dependent on how good I am at it. In praying the rosary, I asked the strongest prayer warrior in Heaven for her help in praying. But if she hadn't been there, if it had just been me, God and a string of beads, I still wouldn't have been praying alone. God is always at the other end. Even the beads would have been optional at most.

And there's my dirty little secret. Even when I pray, I don't really think it's going to do much good. Fortunately, God ignores my bad attitude and takes the prayers at face value. Prayer works, in spite of me.

Thanks to everybody else who prayed, particularly Julie, who posted the request on her blog. And especially, thank you, Blessed Mother. I'm sorry I doubted you. Praise the Lord!

Blogger Beta thingy

Has anybody else tried this "Blogger Beta" they keep pitching every time I publish a post? Is it really as whiz-bang as they make it sound, or is it something us lead-pencil types should steer clear of?

This is humbling

Some of us try to act like Christians. And then, there are those who really, actually, do it.

They accept these tragedies as the will of God, an approach to life they call yieldedness, Mr. Shachtman said. He said this helped explain why the Amish interviewed after the shooting in Nickel Mines, Pa., sounded more resigned than angry. They are pacifists, and some spoke of the need to forgive the killer.

In one sign of their approach to tragedy, Amish residents started a charity fund yesterday not only to help the victims’ families but also to help the gunman’s widow. [Emphasis mine.]

“This is imitation of Christ at its most naked,” Mr. Shachtman said. “If anybody is going to turn the other cheek in our society, it’s going to be the Amish.”

He continued, “I don’t want to denigrate anybody else who says they’re imitating Christ, but the Amish walk the walk as much as they talk the talk.”

I'm in awe.

Hat tip to Mark Shea, The Godfather of St. Blog's Parish.

Clerical coffee snorter

Outcry as clergy say calling God 'He' or 'Lord' encourages wife-beating.

In other news, calling milk "homo-genized" leads to buggery, and ordering "poached" eggs encourages theft.

Prophetic? Or just pathetic?

I was tidying up this paper heap laughingly known as my desk today, and ran across a column I wrote about four years ago. It's the only thing of mine my editor ever bounced; he felt the reference was too direct. Today, I wonder if it's coming true.

"Good morning, shoppers, and thank you for shopping at All-Mart. We trust you're enjoying your total shopping experience with us today. At this time, we'd like to make a few announcements.

"In our Home Improvement department, all All-Mart brand paints are 25% off today only. While you're there, check with our Home Improvement Financing consultants. They're ready and waiting to assist you with those major repairs.

"In our grocery department, All-Mart brands of soda, diapers, and soap are discounted ten percent for today and tomorrow only. Also, we have just received a new chardonnay from 'Sunset Hills', All-Mart's own winery. Our in-house wine taster describes it as 'demure, with a hint of naughtiness.' We recommend it with all our poultry and fish selections, particularly those being served at Chez Lucre, All-Mart's fine dining establishment located at the north end of aisle 117.

"After your visit to Chez Lucre, consider rounding out your evening with a show. All-Mart Cinemas is now showing the latest in film entertainment; check our schedule for times and features. Also, the All-Mart Players theatre troupe will be presenting 'Secrets and Sycophants,' the hilarious new farce by Jacques Reynard, our new All-Mart playwright. We look forward to a full season of Jacques' work.

"All-Mart is proud to announce that our shuttle service has now been extended to all parking areas, which should cut down considerably on crowding and traffic accidents. Please be aware that these shuttle vehicles have right-of-way at all intersections. For you shoppers in Parking Area F-7, formerly known as Sixth through Ninth streets, please be advised that personal vehicles may be parked only in driveways or designated areas. Curbside parking is no longer permissible, so that our transit service may better serve you.

"Just a reminder, many of you have rental or mortgage payments due in two days. Please make sure checks are made out to All-Mart Mortgage Services, and deposited at the First Bank of All-Mart before the close of business Friday. If you'd like to upgrade your housing, please see our representatives at All-Mart Realty.

"We are proud to announce another stunning victory by our own All-Mart High School football team over their arch-rival, the Giant-Mart Peons. Way to go, All-Mart Minimum-Wage Slaves!

"Due to remodeling, services at All-Mart VersiChapel have been rescheduled. New times and days are listed for each denomination outside the chapel, or ask the clergyperson of your choice at the Religion Help Desk.

"Finally, All-Mart would like to welcome two more former downtown businesses to the All-Mart family: Fred's Jewelers and Independent Appliance. If you know a business that has not yet joined the All-Mart Corporation, please let our Department of Acquisitions know. After all, we at All-Mart are committed to bringing you the best selection, and we can't do that if just anybody sets up shop anywhere they like.

"This concludes our announcements for today. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at All-Mart. Remember, we're more than just your neighborhood store; we're the whole darned neighborhood."