Monday, July 23, 2007

Let this be a lesson to you.

Pay your taxes. Pay your bills. If you have an ex, pay her what she demands and then let her get away with getting a little more. If you're a single dad, ignore the fact that you never see a nickel in child support for the kid you are raising, and just be grateful you have her at all. Don't complain.

Work hard. With dedication and loyalty. Chip in overtime off the clock if you have to, to make sure your project comes through on time and in budget. Cover your co-workers' hinies at every turn. Believe your boss when he talks about advancement prospects and exciting opportunities. Take on night jobs, weekend jobs, side jobs, whatever it takes. Don't complain.

Love your family. Do whatever you have to to keep your kids safe and well-cared-for. Cook their meals. Clean up after them. Love them twice as hard when they're mired in puberty and all you want to do is kick their sorry asses around the block. Protect them from their own stupidities, no matter what the cost, even if you have to stand guard outside their windows at night. Pass up good job opportunities because they would interfere with your parenting. Be a good husband: faithful, loving, and solicitous. Make your wife as happy as you possibly can. Don't complain.

The end result will be that you'll wind up almost forty, with your credit cards maxed out, working like a dog for a pittance in a dead-end job. You'll still have your wife (you picked a good one, after all), but she'll be miserable beyond your ability to comfort. You'll lose your house, you'll run out of food, and you won't even be able to hire a lawyer to protect your right to see the child you've been paying so much money for.

Let this be a lesson to you: This is what happens to decent, honest men who don't complain. They wind up a washed-up, bankrupt, self-pitying joke.

But for God's sake, keep it to yourself. Nobody likes a complainer.

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