Memes on Monday

First, the one that Christine tagged me with, along with an abject apology for putting it off so long:

Five questions to ask when you arrive in Heaven:
1. Mosquitos? What in [eternal perdition] were You thinking?
2. What did You put in the appendix for, and why didn't You ever put it to any use? Or did You and we just never noticed?
3. What ever happened to the Woodstock baby?
4. Did I get here by means of predestination or free will? Not that I'm complaining, mind You. I just wondered.
5. Why circumcision? Was there a symbolic reason, or do You just have a really weird sense of humor?

First five people I'd like to see in Heaven:
(Assuming they're there, which is a stretch in some cases. Also excluding family, most of whom I'd also like to see.)
1. Robert Heinlein
2. Jerry Garcia
3. The Hee Haw girls (You just about have to be a Married... with Children fan to appreciate this one.)
4. C. S. Lewis
5. The guy who designed the engine compartment of my wife's car. (Actually, I'd really, really like to be his purgatory. Does that count?)

Okay, now my Lovely and Brilliant Wife's meme from Friday:

My good quirks:
I compliment women compulsively and gratuitously.
I can spell almost anything on demand, which is useful in a newsroom.
I have a passion for singing Welsh hymns – in Welsh.
I can flip through a stack of paper and count the sheets faster than your eyes can follow. (That one was useful when I had a printshop.)
I kick butt at Trivial Pursuit. Or at least I used to, back when I could find opponents.

My bad quirks:
I'm too willing to accept the status quo. I'm not so much lazy as inert. A body at rest, and all that...
I tend to rabbit on about whatever my favorite subject is at the time.
I nod and smile at my wife when she thinks I'm listening.
I procrastinate filling out forms. Any kind of forms.
I can't watch an old movie on video without filling the whole room in on every bit of trivia about each actor. Makes it hard to hear the actual dialogue.

My food quirks:
Two-thirds of what I cook is either meant to be wrapped in a tortilla or spooned over rice. Nobody ever called me imaginative in the kitchen.
I can only cook feijoada in amounts that would feed the entire population of Rio de Janeiro. But dang, is it good until you get tired of the leftovers!
I miss the days when shrimp was a standard option for pizza.
I refuse to allow beans to be even in the same room where my chili is cooking.
I measure a Mexican restaurant's quality almost entirely by its Camarones a la Diabla.

My sleep quirks:
I snore like a Studebaker in need of a valve job. I cover up by complaining about Christina's snoring.
I like to finish the day with an episode of Married... with Children. Two, if Christina is already asleep and can't stop me.
It's been a good ten years since I've owned a mattress that my feet don't hang off the end of.
In the dark ages before I got married, the entire bed would be covered with books except a thin strip where my body went.
I hit the snooze button every seven minutes for about an hour and a half before I get up.

I think most everybody has been tagged with these by now, but I'll inflict 'em anyway on Doug, Scott, The Den, and whichever of the Bayly brothers is willing to give it a whack. Pick one meme or both, as you like.