Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Prince Charming

Okay, men are pigs. Granted. But this guy could take ribbons at the county fair. Seems he not only has very specific criteria in a wife, but he actually drew up a "Contract of Wifely Expectations" detailing her duties. Gives "tying the knot" a whole different connotation.
The document, a copy of which was obtained by TheSmokingGun.com, stipulated that Ruth Frey was to do "anything and everything" her husband wanted.

The contract required she be naked once the kids went to sleep, walk around the house in heels and shave her underarms, legs and pubic area every third day.

Under the heading of "My Time," Travis Frey stipulated his wife to "be subservient, submissive and totally obedient" and "to do what you are asked, when you are asked, how you are asked" and "perform any and all sexual acts."

Further, his wife was never to argue with him, complain about "anything to me or about me," raise her voice or "sigh, moan, bulk [sic] or otherwise show displeasure or unhappiness."

The contract also required his wife to pose for pictures 20 times a quarter, with Travis Frey selecting the positions.

Her wild and crazy hubby did offer his wife the chance to earn "good behavior days," provided she performed "everything with complete and total enthusiasm."

The GBDs, as he called them, could be used to "get out of" doing things.

Apparently she wasn't quite as good a little wifey as the contract stipulated, because he kidnapped and tied her up in retribution for taking their daughters to church (something which was not addressed in the text).

The whole contract is here. If you can handle it, it's mind-boggling. What I want to know is, what kind of woman marries a sick puppy like this? Obviously, she knew going in what kind of a perv he was. Yet she married him anyway, and even perpetuated his genes!

What was she thinking? "Gee, I don't think I'm really qualified to pick out my own knickers and decide for myself how large a patch of pubic hair I should leave. And more than anything, I want a man who schedules my nakedness. Sigh!"

H/T to Stephanie Logerot.

Update: Emily at It Comes in Pints? has a far, far better response than I could ever come up with. Steel yourself to the language and check it out.

No comments: