"The devil told me to have sex with sheep"

Oh, how I dread the Google searches I'm letting myself in for here!

Joshua Kiplagat, 36, sustained a serious head wound when the sheep's owner threw a machete at him after finding him in flagrante delicto with a prize ewe in the Rift Valley district of Bomet, they said.

He was then tied to a tree stump for five hours before being frogmarched naked with the violated ovine in tow to a police station where he confessed to several acts of bestiality that he blamed on the devil, they said.

Are you sure this guy's not from Montana? Whole story here. Warning: Not for the young or sensitive!

Another A/T to A Welsh View, where they really know how to treat their sheep.

Where was this when I was a teenager?

So this seventeen-year-old kid in Australia works overtime, and gets paid in bourbon!

"If I worked back late my host, instead of paying me overtime, would buy me a four-pack of bourbon. He told me not to put [the overtime] down," Mark said.

At least in this state, I suspect the time-and-a-half would be cheaper. Then again, the fine for furnishing alcohol to a minor would be more expensive than either one. (The drinking age in Australia is 18; I checked.) I guess things really are different Down Under!

Akubra tip (appropriately) to A Welsh View.

I took the MIT blog survey

Kind of interesting. I hadn't realized how many people I know only through their blogs, and have never even swapped e-mail with. The Blogosphere really is a different world.

Apparently there's a limit...

... even to the depths to which the Weekly World News will sink. It seems the tabloid ran a story on the "10 ugliest people in the world." That's offensive enough, but for the rag that printed this and this just in the last month, it's all in a day's degeneracy work. Unfortunately for the WWN, one of the "uglies" was Jason Schechterle, a Phoenix police officer who had been disfigured on duty. The word "lawsuit" was whispered, and the News was apparently smart enough to see that they couldn't possibly win. Rather, they donated a "significant" sum of money to the Arizona Burn Center at Maricopa Medical Center.

Stuart Zakim, a spokesman for American Media, Inc., which owns Weekly World News, as well as the National Enquirer, the Globe, and magazines such as Shape and Men's Fitness, acknowledged that the story was a mistake and said that the editors responsible for the story were fired.

"American Media stands for quality journalism," Zakim said.

I wonder how he said that without gagging.

(Akubra tip to Jim Romanesko.)

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that the Arizona Republic page about the settlement also showed this ad when I clicked on it:

Ironic, what?

I'm impressed...

Thwe Spokesman-Review allowed Jim West to speak for himself, and even put it in among the stories that don't require a paid subscription. Up to now, only those stories and letters most damaging to West have been allowed, particularly online.

And he's cheesed:

With over 92 articles, hundreds of column inches, thousands of words, several editorials and screaming headlines by The Spokesman-Review, people have a hard time remembering this simple fact: In our system a person is innocent until proven guilty.

The Spokesman-Review is not the judge or the jury, and its accusations are false.

I did not molest anyone, 25 years ago or ever, and I have not misused my official office for personal gain. I am certain the investigations now being conducted will show that I have done nothing that makes me unfit for public office...
I wish I could write that there is not a shred of truth to the things that have been written about me in The Spokesman-Review. The problem is, there is a shred of truth, and The Spokesman-Review has shredded it into a hundred small pieces and rearranged it to fit its agenda and theories.

Of course, there's no mention of any connection to the parking garage scandal. You can't expect the S-R to be too honest.

Read the whole thing here. If you follow Washington politics, you need to hear West's side of the story, however little the S-R, the Kleptocrats and the Gay Brownshirts may want it told.

Hoo boy!

This guy badly needs to increase his meds, I think. He should also take some classes in web page layout or something, as his rants are really hard to read.

What I find amusing is the resemblence he bears to some of the other inbred subliterates with dirty ears that post long-winded, incoherent rants against the Catholic Church. I'm not talking about doctrinal criticism; that's just debate among Christians. But the sort of people who invent pagan histories and conspiracies because they can't stand the idea of the Catholics having anything in common with them... Those are the ones that really get up your nose.

Akubra tip to Sven for the link to the loon at the top.

One down, two to go!

For some time, I've been watching three Protestants in the Christian Blogosphere that I was pretty sure would become Catholic eventually. I haven't discussed that with anybody (except my Lovely and Brilliant Wife), and I certainly haven't been trying to evangelize any of them. I just figured, from things they had said, that the Lord was steering them toward Rome.

The other day, Dawn Eden casually let it slip in a comment window that she would be starting RCIA in the fall. (Or as I call it, PIT – Papists in Training.) Dawn was the first, and the one I was most sure about. I suppose it had something to do with her passionate pro-life stance, and her strong belief in sexual morality. (Let's face it: this is where Catholics really shine in western Christendom. Kind of makes up for our allowing David Haas and Ed Bolduc to write our music.) I think there may have been other reasons; I'm waiting to hear them (although I have my suspicions).

And no, I won't tell you who the other two are, until and unless it actually happens. The Lord has his own timing.

I told Dawn the same thing I had said to my oldest daughter, when she was baptized Catholic at the age of eleven: "Congratulations! The Ku Klux Klan wants you dead, your Seventh-day Adventist friends now believe you're the whore of Babylon, and you've just joined the oldest and biggest church in the world."

Welcoome home, Petite (Papist-Pending) Powerhouse! Let me know when you've done the Rite of Election, so I can move your link under "Papes."

You're not going to kiss him first? No, better not

Looks like Jim West has been fast-tracked for a lynching. Even his friends are lining up for ropes and axe handles.

Among the May 5 e-mails made public Tuesday was a letter of support from Anthony Bonanzino, chairman of the Spokane Regional Chamber of Commerce, who praised West as a "great civic leader" and "a person I am proud to call friend."

On Monday, Bonanzino was among six business executives who sent West a letter urging him to allow a recall vote to proceed quickly."

Would you like thirty pieces of silver with that?

Warning: Set your coffee down before reading!

In the course of reading John Petttigrew's Purgatory post, I followed another link to World of Sven.

Dear Barking dog that lives next door,

SHUT UP. Shut up, shut up, shut up. SHUT. UP. Be quiet. What do you hope to achieve by going 'ARP ARP ARP ARP ARP ARP' between the hours of 4am and 7am every day without even a short break?

Persistence in such behaviour may lead to your being stuffed and mounted on my wall in between the Jehovah's Witness and the man who used to ring up and try and sell me double glazing every day.

Sven

Can you breathe again? Good. Now go read more.

Forget what I said...

... about Purgatory. John Pettigrew says exactly the things I wish I'd written here, but better than I could have.

Black's Law

Here at the Greatest Newspaper in the Northwest, we have a phenomenon we call "Black's Law," named for a former editor. Since we're an afternoon paper (one of the last of a disappearing breed), we put the final section to bed abuut 11:15. In Murphyesque fashion, all the biggest stories seem to hit after press time. To make it worse, we're Monday through Friday, so if something happens on Friday afternoon, they'll know about it in Nairobi before we can get it on the street.

Of course, sometimes it works to our advantage. We whupped all the morning papers on 9/11, for instance. (It helped that our editor happened to be in DC that day.) There have been other stories that hit in the morning that have been real scoops for us. Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the hydrant...

So now I'm watching the AP wire, as it looks like a man with a bomb in his backpack was just shot at the federal courthouse in Seattle. No details yet as of 1:00.

Why can't these people be a little more considerate in their timing?

Light posting

The busy part of the month has reared its stressful head, so posts will be a little thin on the ground for a while. I still need to write the Father's Day post that I didn't get time for yesterday. Coming soon to a blog near you...

Meanwhile, take a look at the fearfully and wonderfully named Luminous Miseries. All roads lead to Rome (or so it seems to us ex-Prods), but the route looks different to us all.

Which book of the Bible are you?

You are Romans.


Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is one that I thought was going to be easier to manipulate than it is. I was tempted to be Ecclesiastes, but I'd have felt like an Eeyore impersonator, and besides, it's a sunny Saturday morning.

A/T to Bunnie Diehl, who might also be Romans, but isn't as Roman as I am.

Does nobody see the irony here?

Looks like Madonna is writing another book for girls.

"She identifies with the English Roses [the four main characters]. She wants to help guide girls through that crucial stage of life," Callaway said.

All of Madonna's books, however, teach a little lesson, and they've all been inspired by her own life.

I don't know what to add to this.

Click, click! Oh, look! See Something Awful!

The guys at Something Awful have another hilarious series going, this time doing horrid things to the old Dick and Jane readers. This one in particular made me laugh my gluteus maximus off:

Check out the whole series: Part 1 and Part 2. Warning: some of these get kinda vulgar.

Gronk!

I'm not all this surprised, and I'm not sure I blame this woman. I'm well aware that I snore like a Studebaker with bad valves. Fortunately, my Lovely and Brilliant Wife has developed a certain hardness-of-hearing that may well be all that stands between me and statistichood.

Merciful thing they didn't have scissors

Guys, there's a reason you don't get ugly in a beauty parlor.

Arming themselves with curling irons, chairs, a wooden table leg and clenched fists, the women attacked.

Blood and urine splattered from the victim; stains adorned the white paints worn by many of the beauty school students.

Crying in pain, the robber tried to crawl away from the students, Mitchell said.

"I grabbed his legs and wouldn't let him go. I pulled him back. He wasn't going to get up out of here and tell everyone he robbed us. When he came in here, he knocked down a beehive and sent the bees flying all over."

Sharon Blalock, owner of the school, said she couldn't be prouder of her students and employees. "They just whooped the hell out of him."

You go, girls!

Pentecostalism gets weirder and weirder

Not that this bears much similarity to the Assembly of God down the street. For which God be praised.

A blog for dirty-eared inbreds

You know the sick fascination some people get from watching those "Faces of Death" videos? I get that from this guy's blog. He avoids calling himself a racist; prefers "kinist." I guess if you count marrying kin, it works.

My great-grandfather, I'm told, rode with the Ku Klux Klan in his youth. I don't hold that against him; at the time, it was more a political organization than a Nazi-Skinhead-Vermin thing. I never knew him, but I wonder what he'd say if he knew that his great-grandson (and male-line heir) was a Papist, married to an American Indian, with three Hispanic kids.

Miscegenation works for me.

Eat what and die?

Gimme a G!
Gimme an R!
Gimme an O-D-Y!
What's that spell?

A/T to Jim Romanesko.