The Hundred Acre Office

The delightful Ricki comes up with some things that would never, in a million years, cross most people's minds. Whether that's good or bad is entirely a matter of perspective.

A couple days ago on Tracey's blog, Kate P. made a comment about Eeyore being an IT guy: "ooooh deeear. We had a viiiiiirus."

That made me giggle. And it made me think a bit:

If Pooh and friends worked in a corporation, what would each one of them do?

I think the Eeyore-as-IT-guy is a good start; most of the IT guys I've known have had that kind of hangdog, expect-the-worst disposition.

Rabbit would have to be in accounting; he seems to have the soul of a bean-counter. And he'd be the sort of chap who'd NEVER come up off money if he could avoid it.

Piglet would be a cubicle-dweller in fear of his job. Or maybe a temp. That kind of almost pants-wettingly fearful attitude (at least in Disney Piglet) seems to suit.

Owl would probably be R and D. Thinks he knows more than he actually does.

Gopher (who I'm going to include, even though I really rather dislike the character in the Disney Pooh movies, and I wish they hadn't dinked with the books quite so much) would be in Infrastructure. He'd be the guy who walks around in a hard hat, shaking his head, because he knows the machinery won't produce at the rate which he's being told it needs to produce at.

Tigger would be one of those annoying HR types - who's all hepped up about MORALE and FUN and MAKING WORK LIKE PLAY. The kind of people that the cubicle-dwellers roll their eyes over when they hear him bounding down the hall. He'd be the kind of guy who buys an "office dog" until it turns out that Piglet is violently allergic to it. Or the kind of person who tries to initiate Trust Exercises and Kanga is all worried about Owl groping her during the "trust fall."

Kanga would be the token female on staff (kind of like the engineer-lady in Dilbert). Being a single mom, she'd probably be all agitatey for on-site day care, and flex hours, and stuff. She'd have to be a little strident just to make herself heard.But secretly, she'd be the one who'd keep the office fridge stocked and she'd be the one to make sure that Piglet got fed something after having a midafternoon low-blood-sugar crash.

And that leaves Pooh. I suppose, being a bear of little brain and all, he'd have to be the CEO. (Or maybe Owl would be the CEO, and Pooh would have to be a cubicle-dweller along with Piglet; I've not totally worked that out in my mind.)

So, that's the Hundred Akre Wood meets The Office.

I've carefully avoided the halls of academia ever since I graduated, so I have less context for her "Winnie the Pooh on Campus" variation, but it's still a hoot. Read the whole thing here.