Wednesday, September 19, 2007

All right, all right

Since everyone else seems to be doing this 55-question meme, I guess I might as well. I'm just a lemming at heart. At least they're original, and not not one of those "Which color paper clip are you?" quizzes.

1. Is your second toe longer than your first?
Now that you mention it, yes.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
Not really. I've always wished I could learn to use a quill pen, but it seems kind of unlikely. Also pointless (no pun intended). But it sure would look cool.

3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?
Cooking fish, probably. That's a Friday in Lent.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
I suppose toenail color. Kind of a pinkish-white.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
A number on a list of ads for one of our salespeople.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
Brown, dusty miniblinds.

7. What color are the seats in your car?
Those are also brown, as are the seatcovers over them.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
No, I haven't. Most of our cats when I was a kid were Siamese, and my last one was a delightful orange cat named Romeo. He disappeared a couple of years ago, but every so often I think I see him around the neighborhood.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
I think I mailed a resume out last spring. It's funny how much the internet has replaced snail-mail.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
Not anymore. I used to, but she died about nine years ago.

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
To distribute the kids' allowances.

12. Whose is the last baby that you held?
Jamie's, a girl I work with. The next one due at the office is mine.

13. Unlucky #?
Not that I can think of.

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
No, but I use it anyway.

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
The same thing I do now: an unbelievably dilapidated '86 Nissan pickup. I paid $300 for the thing seven years ago, and it's still going strong. It's ugly, but a truck is supposed to be. Guys who drive nice-looking pickups are prissy.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
Beats me. They both sound to me like good reasons not to live in Florida.

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
Next time I go will be the first.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
No, which is a good thing. I hate to imagine what Hypertot would do to it.

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
A highlighter on my desk. It's dried up, but Im too lazy to throw it away.

20. Last person to give you a business card?
A realtor I interviewed yesterday.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
A farmer selling tomatoes at the Farmers Market last Saturday.

22. Closest framed picture to you?
Some relatives of the co-worker at the next desk. I don't know who they are, but if they're related to her, I don't want to know.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
My Lovely and Brilliant Wife made dinner a couple of weeks ago when I had to work late. Usually I cook, which seems to suit her all right.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
Not as such. We had food stamps for a while last summer, and even that was a festival of paperwork. In contrast to the popular image, though, the bureaucrat who helped up went out of her way (and bent some rules, I suspect), to get us signed up, as she knew we weren't freeloaders by nature. There are two kinds of government employees: people like her and chairwarmers. I wish they'd hire more of the former.

25. How many emails do you have?
In my work inbox, 679. In my private e-mail, 200. I also keep a Yahoo address for required registrations and such, so if I get spam, it can go there. God knows how many I have in that one.

26. Last time you received flowers?
I honestly don't recall. It's not the sort of thing guys usually get. Maybe a nice bouquet of lug wrenches or something.

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man and woman?
Yep. And I don't feel any need to argue the point.

28. Do you play air guitar?
Depends on whether anyone's watching.

29. Has anyone ever proposed to you?
Nope. I've been married twice, and both times I did the proposing. The first time was in the backseat of a Dodge, and the second in a Mexican restaurant with both sets of kids watching. Guess which marriage lasted?

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Cream (real cream if I can) and sugar.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
Any what?

32. What is/was your high school's rival mascot?
I don't know. My high school's mascot was the Trojans, so anyone would have looked better. Besides, I hatedthat school. I left my home town when we moved after two months of my freshman year, and I spent my high school years wishing I could go back. If nothing else, it's a lot cooler to be a Timberwolf than a Trojan.

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
I think my ex-girlfriend, almost six years ago. I talked to my boyhood best friend a couple of weeks ago, but although we were friends at the time, we didn't actually go to high school together. (See above.)

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
I think we have some in our bathroom at home. I'd have to check to be sure.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
Naah. Bagpipes would be cool, though.

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
They're cream-colored drapes, torn off on one side by Hypertot playing Tarzan on them.

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
Everything you see here is there because I read it and posted it.

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
You mean last year's Christmas pageant? Number Three Daughter was in it, the last time she'll be young enough. Naturally, she was the star.

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
I bought frozen pizzas at the grocery store a couple of days ago. The last time I bought real pizza was from Papa Murphy's, sometime last month.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
I think I was a magus in a Christmas pageant when I was about 11 or 12.

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
A set of dummies for the next day's newspaper.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
No. I'm not much of a pop drinker, certainly not enough to get what's trendy. We buy whatever's diet and on sale.

44. Are you ticklish?
Violently so.

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
The Fourth of July, watching the display over Moses Lake from my sister's backyard.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
I think last spring. We had a salesperson from Konica who used to bring them from Spokane whenever he came to check on our supplies, but he retired and I haven't seen one since. The nearest Krispy Kreme is a hundred miles away, alas.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message and you actually returned it?
The guy at the temp service I've been working for off and on.

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
I think in January 2003, when we moved Christina's stuff up here from Sacramento.

49. Do you have a black dog?
Nope. No dog at all.

50 . Have you had your mid life crisis yet?
I have a wife and eight kids. Who has time for one?

51. Are you an aunt or uncle?
Yes, but until a few years ago I never got to act like one. My sister had a little girl, but they lived in Pittsburgh. Since that time they've moved back to Washington, so I've gotten to be Uncle Joel. It's kind of fun being around kids I'm not responsible for. My brothers, on the other hand, are damnably slow about reproduction. One of them has been married for a couple of years, and it's about time they started shouldering their share of the grandchild-producing.

Then too, when I married Christina, I suddenly acquired her 22 nieces and nephews. (I think there are a few more now.) Most of them don't know me from Adam, but I've come to like a few of them a lot.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
I should say Christina, but I'm looking at a collage of Lauren Bacall on my desktop, and it's a hard call to make. I hope she'll forgive me.

53. What kind of soap or body wash do you use?
Whatever's in the shower. I'm sorta partial to Irish Spring, but I'm not picky.

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
Yeah, but my mom made me stop calling him that, because it wasn't nice.

55. Do you have a little black dress?
No, which is just as well. I don't have the legs to carry one off.

Okay, someone else's turn now. Who's up to it?

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