Thursday, March 09, 2006

The infinite badassness of Chuck Norris

As if it weren't already a given, Tu Quoque channels Aquinas to prove it – five ways.
The second way is from the nature of the roundhouse kick. In the world of bar fights we find there is an order of roundhouse kicks. There is no case known (neither is it, indeed, possible) in which a roundhouse kick is found to be able to hurt Chuck Norris; for so it would be kicking himself (resulting in the destruction of Chuck Norris), which is impossible. Now in roundhouse kicks it is not possible to go on to infinity, because the universe cannot contain more than one Chuck Norris. Now to take away the cause is to take away the effect. Therefore, if there be no Chuck Norris, there will be no ultimate roundhouse kick, nor any intermediate roundhouse kick, nor anyone's butt to receive the kick; all of which is plainly false. Therefore it is necessary to admit a first roundhouse kicker, to which everyone gives the name of Chuck Norris.

Via Patrick.

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