No sex. No problems.

Mark Shea pointed out this excellent campaign, which I hope catches on like wildfire. Like Mark, I wonder how long it will take before Planned Parenthood gets it silenced to protect their bottom line. Barak Obama has promised to add Lolita 101 to our kindergarteners' curriculum if he's elected, but there's still no law (yet) against parents teaching their kids that doing the bouncy is a bad idea.

Being a teenager sucks anyway, and that suckage is never - and I mean never - improved by sex. All sex does is magnify all the misery that comes with adolescence. Face it, people: Porky's was a fantasy.

The fact is that most of the grief we went through in junior high and high school could have been avoided had it merely been a given that our zippers would remain closed. Never mind the horsecookies about how they're "just going to do it anyway." That cuts no ice whatsoever. There's no excuse for us adults sloughing off our duty to teach them better.

And these days, it's not just the teenagers. Preteens, especially girls, are being drawn into the exciting world of becoming sex toys, which pisses me off no end. Because the only people who believe that childhood is improved by sex are the ones who stand to make a profit from your daughters being molested.

No sex. No problems. How complicated can that be?