Crime might pay, but Uncle Sam wants his cut

This is an actual cut-and-paste from the IRS website:

Illegal income. Illegal income, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

Kickbacks. You must include kickbacks, side commissions, push money, or similar payments you receive in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040), if from your self-employment activity.

Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner.

I'd be curious to know what happens if you report this honestly. Not curious enough to try it, but then, I don't have much need to.

A/T to the same guys who came up with the WWII game below.