Hell hath no fury...

This poor schmoe really should be more careful about the women he gets involved with. There's nothing more terrifying than a vindictive ex. It's enough to make a man wear a clove of garlic around his neck and keep an alarm on the rabbit cage.

[Ken] Slaby says his ex-lover, Gail O'Toole, was angry he had moved on after their break-up, so she waited until he fell asleep, then glued his penis to his stomach, his testicle to his leg, and glued his buttocks together.

He also says she dumped nail polish all over his head, then suddenly booted him out of her Murrysville home -- forcing him to walk a mile to the nearest convenience store to get help.

The jury awarded him $46,200. It's not worth it.